Stop Bitchin!!!!

Posted in Uncategorized on April 5, 2011 by Mr. Slish


Early this morning I’m driving to work listening to Charlemagne THE GOD(105.1) call Funkmaster Flex(97.1) the DONKEY OF THE DAY. Seems like Flex has his nuts in a bunch over the heavy criticism/ridicule Mr.Cee is getting from THE BREAKFAST CLUB. No need for me to mention AGAIN what he was arrested for.

Audio from Flex’s show was played and he pretty much said if their verbal assaults continued it was gonna be on and poppin! …..I’m sitting in the car thinking to myself Uuuum Flex is about my age early 40’s is he really that immature and EGO’D out to get involved with something that has nothing to do with him! It’s Mr Cee’s DICK that was caught dingle danglin! All he’s doing is drawing more attention to Mr.Cee and that situation. SHUT THE FUCK UP and let Grown Folk handle their own business!!! Once you pass the age of 40 BEEF should no longer be a part of your vocabulary.

Folks in Hip Hop need to relax. Just last night I watched Jim Jones on Love & Hip Hop( Don’t Judge me) threaten this dude because he said he makes 10,000 per show and called his Lady trifling. REALLY!!!! Last time I checked 10,000 to do a show is a HELL of a lot of money! As for his lady. If anyone reading this has watched it those Producers do have ole girl looking kinda trifling. Anyway dude bitched up when Jim stepped to him and apologized with teary eyes! All I could do was SMH cause that had been ME! I woulda talked even more shit in front of those cameras provoked Jimmy into a NICE BIG JUICY LAWSUIT and possible jail time! Rumor has it they locking rappers up for less!

All I’m saying is this. The HIP HOP community needs to take ALLLLLL that AGGRESSION and focus on creating and promoting better music! Period! Stop letting your over sized EGO’s and ARROGANCE get you into trouble you’re gonna have to dig yourselves out of later. When you’re a celebrity people are gonna talk about what you’re doing or NOT doing. Comes with the territory

So if you don’t want people talking about you don’t do CARELESS or DUMB shit!

Mr Slish’s 2 cent’s and a Nickel… Latuh


Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on April 4, 2011 by Mr. Slish

This weekend was a BLUR! Saturday my mini me Tasmanian X ran his daddy around the couch, under the bed and into any closet he could hide in! JUST to avoid putting on a PULL UP! His final attempt at escaping little niglet ran into a wall! ” HA! GOTCHA!” I put my future running back to bed, plopped myself in front of the tele, and started flickin….Hmmm Eat, Pray, Love is about to start. Lemme indulge.

2 hrs later. That was some bullshit! Wife leaves a perfectly GOOD marriage so she can find herself but ends up even more fucked up than before . ALL seems lost until she meets a scruffy Brazilian dude who’s been holding the KEY to her happiness the ENTIRE time! Ummmmm HELLLLLLO People !!! When men do this! Its called ABANDONMENT and the foreign chick we end up with only speaks english when it’s time to go shopping for PRADA, GUCCI, and DOLCE GABBANA! So this movie can go kick rocks!

As I sat in the living room FUMING over the fact that this FLICK is basically telling women they have a get out of jail free card if their marriages aren’t what they expected MY WIFE walks in and asks ” You going anywhere tomorrow?” I press the pause button on the remote and turn my head towards her.

” Uuuuum Yeah Dingle-berry! The pt job I’ve been going to EVERY SUNDAY since we acquired this BIG ASS MORTGAGE!” is what I wanted to say, but I have a new and improved filter ” Yeah babe. Remember I work at the Group home every Sunday ” she leaves then comes back 5 minutes later with her sour puss face in FULL EFFECT! I press the pause button again.

” I need to get away!” Heeeeeere weeeee Go.

” What’s the matter hun. What happened? ” She sighs

” I need to get away FROM HERE!” What’s wrong with this woman! The Slasher is about to go BALLISTIC, but my new and improved filter has an added feature. The Slasher Nullifier ! I calmly respond

” Where you thinking about going babe?

” My mothers” So she wants to abandon this Love Boat and swim to hell! Hmph! She’s looking for some attention. Of course I play along.

” You taking the baby?”


” D staying with me? ”

“Yup” I focus my attention back to the television and press pause to release the characters.

” Have fun” I sense her squinting her eyes at me like she wants to slap the remote out of my hand!

Ya see folks. I refused to feed into my wife’s mini tantrum. She was looking for an excuse to execute her version of EAT, PRAY, and DITCH! If I’d responded the way I usually do she woulda packed her bags that night! Instead I came home Sunday evening to BBQ pork chops, macaroni & cheese with some waaaaarm cornbread.

Cmon say it with me ” Who’s the Master”

The Hot Chick

Posted in Uncategorized on March 21, 2011 by Mr. Slish


The Hot Chick:

Manicured nails, Indian hair woven into her scalp, coke bottle figure that goes POP POP POP!!! Most YOUNG dudes want a gal like this, but when they finally get her they realize every other Negro wants her too! So what’s a brotha to do?

Chain her up to his bed post so she can’t leave the house on Friday and Saturday nights!

Burn all her tight dresses and break the heels off her peep toe shoes !

Stop giving her money for that long ass weave you like to pull on while slapping your pelvis against that coke bottle boootaaay!!!

Nah Bruh none of the above. The Hot Chick CANNOT and WILL NOT be tamed!!! You gotta ride that wave till it flattens out can’t force The Hot Chick to comply with your insecure demands. She’s HOT! You’re naive to think that NOOOO other dude is gonna wanna slap those cheeks together just cause you cuffed her..After all your name is NOT tattooed on that PHAT ASS!

OK maybe some of you realize that, but rather she tone it down now that she’s with you. HELL NO The Hot Chick doesn’t know what tone it down means! She thrives on the attention! Makes her feel good about herself. She has yet to evolve into a what you expect her to be.

I’ve dated plenty of Hot Chicks and it wasn’t till I got to my 30’s I realized I was going about things the wrong way. Getting mad and making a scene in public only pushed them towards those waiting in the wings. If I showed no fear and stood proud with my shapely vixen. Dudes wouldn’t be so quick to Holla and she’d see that her MAN is a Secure Sexy Beast!

So my young niglets stop trippin if you’re dating a Hot Chick cause she sho nuff AIN’T!!!

All In The Name Of Love

Posted in Uncategorized on March 19, 2011 by Mr. Slish

I’m up at 3:39 am searching online for some mellow obscure tunes to inspire me to actually write something worth while.  I click onto my boy Grantlove’s website( cause I know he’s good for some shit like that. Haven’t spoken to him in a while so I called last week  he didn’t answer his phone. Shit he never does so I didn’t take it personal just kept it moving like I usually do. Seems I’ve been doing that a lot lately( the not taking things personal part) when deep down the SLASHER wants to send him an IRATE email as to why he should answer my phone calls! Anyway back to listening to his rare groove selections.  It’s actually kinda cool. Smooth, laid back tracks from the 70’s and 80’s. Half this shit I’ve only heard sampled by these no talent musicians passing themselves off as producers.

Okay that was enough warming up I’m ready to get down to business.  First I’d like to say What’s up Blog family! Uncle Slishy has returned.  For how long I don’t know, but for months  I’ve had things to say but Husband/Daddy duty kept my ass off the laptop probably the reason why I’m up in the middle of the night. THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I GET ALONE!  Between my wife, a precocious teenager , and  the TYRANT we now call Tasmanian X it’s HARD to sit down and  get SHIT off my CHEST. Nonetheless I wouldn’t trade it in for the world!  

Yeah my wife gets on my nerves, suuuure my stepson refuses to get up on time for school in the morning , of course Tasmanian X took a DUMP in the middle of our living room Yesterday. It’s all good cause I’ve come to realize life isn’t worth living without a few ” Daddy PEE PEE” and “BABE our tenants are moving out. Things about to get REAL TIGHT” moments.

Been married over a year now and I must say it’s comforting at times and HELLA frustrating too.  The frustrating part is that I don’t get to be SELFISH anymore and I used to get a kick outta that. Don’t give me the side eye  it’s good to be selfish keeps balance in the universe. Now I’m just selfish with my time. Hanging out with the fellas and getting a few drinks after work  are things of the past. All I wanna do  is come home to my family and deal with whatever they throw at me.  BEST BELIEVE they throw some heavy shit too!

So in the name of love I’ve given  up some things that made me ME and have to chosen to indulge in what make us a FAMILY

Stay tuned for more stories of Slish the Family Man…..hahaha riiiiiiiight


Posted in Uncategorized on September 21, 2010 by Mr. Slish

I can go from 0-60 in a matter of seconds when it comes to getting angry. The wrong tone of voice, misplaced humor, a brush off, slammed door in my face, just about anything I perceive as disrespectful will set me off. Since I’m married to a stubborn woman and supervise a bunch of cry babies at the workplace the Slasher has been present more than usual.
This  flaw in my personality is a bit hard to manage so I’ve conditioned myself not to hold grudges once I’ve had a disagreement with someone. The next day it’s like nothing ever happened business as usual for me. Yeah that simple right? WRONG! The folks I’ve made angry still wanna grind my nuts into bread crumbs! lol
Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. My wife has been sleeping in the living room for the last two days probably gonna shoot for a third tonight because Saturday afternoon she set the Slasher off and he literally told her to go fuck herself. Will she forgive me? More than likely. Did she deserve to get cussed out that way? That’s a  matter of opinion but either way there’s always an alternative to what’s easy and  saying Go Fuck Yourself was way easier than explaining why she had no right to call me SELFISH!  
Anyway my POINT is this. The World is full of Slashers, but that doesn’t mean you shut everything down because of them. We all have too much at stake to allow an individual to derail us from normalcy. My wife sleeping in the living room sends the wrong message to Little D and X. They’ll grow up thinking its okay for husband and wife to sleep in separate rooms. 
Check this out people! Our society/families depend on US way more than we could possibly imagine. I’m gonna give you a far-fetched analogy that kinda relates to the point I’m trying to make. What if toilet bowls had a sense of smell and refused to flush your shit because of it’s foul odor. That’s right! The WORLD would be full of shit!
Folks do you see where I’m going?  It’s okay to get yelled at, cussed out , even backed into a corner that you wanna dig someones eyes out!  It’s okaaay  just don’t let it


Posted in Uncategorized on September 17, 2010 by Mr. Slish

” Your boyfriend is one of those  Yes Dear, No Dear kinda dudes” a little annoyed my ex-girlfriend responds 
” He is sooooo not that. I’m starting to get upset cause you don’t even know him.” I’m grinning from ear to ear on the other end. This is way too easy…lol…Slasher decides to push her over the edge some more.
” Arent you glad I left you. Now you’re with the man of your dreams” She sighs
” Why do I continue to call you.” I’m sitting at my desk nodding my head in agreement thinking the same thing. Slasher decides to take a HARD left.
” Can I be honest with you for a minute? “
” By all means”
” Both you and my wife share very similar character flaw oops I mean traits. “
” You say that to say what”
” I say that cause if I were single and we’d met today. Maaaaybe we woulda gotten a long better. Shit we probably be headed down the aisle. Patience was something I lacked then and now. The difference today is that I’ve learned most women are hardwired the same. So I  block out  the annoying shit that drives me crazy ” she responds with a
” Ha!  I would have never let myself marry you.”  
Slasher knew she’d say that and was ready with a rebuttal but Slish stopped  him before he could open his mouth ” When X was born who let you use their Buy Buy Baby discount. DUDE! Didn’t she just get X a nice little outfit no less than a month ago!” Shit! He’s right.
” You’re right luv we probably woulda been at each other’s throats. I’m glad you’ve finally met the person you see yourself with for a lifetime. Sorry for calling him names it was unwarranted and unnecessary. It won’t happen again. ” I say my good byes and hang up.
For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what triggered my verbal assault. She only called to check on me and make sure my family was okay. I mean We are friends right? I forget that sometimes cause we were never truly friends in our relationship and I think that’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life. I never quite got the concept that your significant other is supposed to be your best friend. When I’m in crisis I’ve always turned to my closest confidants(male or female) never the woman in my life. Could be the reason why I’m such a horrible listener when it comes to them.
As I sit here typing this I’m thinking all the tears shed due to this major flaw of mine. DAMN! This shit gotta end, but I honestly don’t know if it can. I’m set in my ways probably too old to change. So I’ll take this time to apologize for any damage I may have caused, and to inform those who didn’t make the cut…


Posted in Uncategorized on September 11, 2010 by Mr. Slish
I surround myself with women at the work place. Whats with the side eye! I know I’m married, but I enjoy their conversation. Men don’t express themselves the way women do. I can walk into the lunch room and SET IT OFF with just one sentence. With the fellas not so much.
Men especially Brothas don’t like to share anything! If  they thought about THAT for a minute. They’d realize you can extract more personal information from an individual by just sharing tid bits of your own. That being said Yo boy Slish shares his experiences like a reformed crack head explaining how he got hooked!  To the masses its refreshing. Folks wanna open up and tell me all kinds of things. Do I  mind? absolutely not.  It helps to know I’m not alone in this struggle.
We all have shit we’d like to get off our chest. Why keep it to ourselves when you can share it with someone who’s either going or gone through something very similar. Insight from another individual can keep a person from going postal. How many times have you heard about a woman shooting up an entire office? That’s right NOT OFTEN! You wanna know why? Cause they express themselves fellas! Maybe a little too much for my taste but at least they get it outta their system.
 I wrote about this in a previous post and since then I’ve been making a conscious effort to reach out to my immediate brotherhood. Giving advice and taking some when necessary. It’s kept me from doing some really dumb shit. Just the other day I was so Pissed at Shawnla that when I got off work I took a detour to my boys house and sat in his basement sipping Pure Hennessy White while he explained the do’s and don’t s of married life. I left there relieved knowing I wasn’t the only husband who felt like the ball and chain was being wrapped around their throat…lol
It’s time MEN especially Black Men started their own support system. Lets try to be there for one another. Stop being so cut throat, competitive, and unforgiving. Share your stories of heartache, past mistakes and triumphs. In other words be fathers to those that never had and brothers to the ones that do.

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